Good, Better, Best.

Does anyone else even blog anymore?

I keep putting it off, waiting for the time when I "have more time".....

But I notice that out of the MANY blogs that I read, (or used to) no one else has updated either.  This has bothered me increasingly for some time now.  Is it just easier to Facebook?  It's faster?  Post something quick on a wall, and hurry off to the next activity?  It has been for me.  But is that now becoming a crutch for documenting our lives?  I was so excited 9 months ago, when I printed our family blog into a book.  What a wonderful way to keep a visual record for our family and all the things we are involved in.  But the blog was an "easier quicker" way to document instead of scrapbooking, which I used to absolutely love! ( I say used to, because I have become so busy, I haven't scrapbooked in 2 years.  I don't remember if I love it anymore?) The scrapbook became the crutch for family history and journaling, the blog became the crutch for scrapbooking, and now facebook is becoming the crutch for the blog......  hmmm....

I've been contemplating much lately. 

Much about time, and where it is going.

Remembering a time when, the big adventure for the week was LEAVING the house, to go to the park with my two little babies.  Remembering a time, when I had two kids in school, ALL DAY, and two little ones at home, to play with each other, (and that left me all day to READ A BOOK!)  Remembering when, getting up at 8:00 in the morning was early.  

What am I doing with my life right now?  How can it be, that my oldest is almost in her last year of school?  My baby is scheduling her own 'playdates' and has a social life?  Both of my boys are busy with sports, and scouts, and school work, (because, THEY ARE the ones that enjoy school and do so well!).  It's hard to listen to my sweet red-head, as I lay next to her in her bed at night, say that this was the best part of her day, because mommy finally spent time - with just her.  Or to have the oldest baby yawning, complaining of how tired she is, but curl up on the couch next to me, just to be close, because, she hasn't talked with me.... REALLY talked, all day.

Where is my life going?  

Oh yeah.  

I'm a teacher.  I'm a photographer.  I'm a volunteer.  I'm a Primary President.  (I am OBVIOUSLY not a writer!)  I have animals that I try to 'mother' and train.  I have a home to clean, and dinner to prepare.  But where does MOM fit in?  That's suppose to be first!  am I a wife too?

Don't get me wrong.  My children are not lacking in parental time.  They aren't getting what they used to get - and I think that's hard. On all of us. 

But all the things I am involved in, I want to be involved in.  And when I look around, it doesn't seem like I'm busier than anyone else?  So why is it bothering me so much?

This morning, as I was hustling around getting kids breakfast, cleaning the kitchen up, (because yesterday after getting up at 5:30, having family prayer before Bryan left for work at 6:00, reading scriptures before big kids left for seminary at 6:45, and getting little kids and myself ready to leave for school at 7:45,; dropping them off, run a bunch of errands and be back to the school in time for volunteering at 10:30, run over to take Bryan to lunch - it was his birthday - get back to the school to help in the other child's class until school was over; hurry back home to go through homework before we went to help a church member move, because I knew we wouldn't have time for homework later, since we had scouts, young men's and young women's at 7; but we didn't end up finishing the move until 8, at which time we grabbed all the kids and FINALLY went and got dinner, and had somewhat of a small celebration for Bryan's birthday; and rushed to get kids into bed LATE at 10p.m.!!!  WHEW! and THANKFULLY it wasn't a piano day!)  ANYWAY..... so picking up the chaos from yesterday, I noticed that Maranda had been reading in the 'New Era'.  Heavenly Father is so perfect.  She left it open to the article that reviewed the conference talk from long ago, about "Good, Better, Best."  And I came to a screaching halt.

Again, the thoughts overwhelmed me.  What am I doing and where is my life going?

Do I take time to listen to the promptings my Father in Heaven sends to me?  Do I slow down enough to enjoy the short time I have with my children, while they are mine to enjoy?  Am I doing things to replenish my own 'spiritual cup' so that I can be the strength and backbone that my husband and children need me to be?  

What can I change.

I love being a teacher, a photographer, a volunteer, a mother, a wife, and, I think I even might enjoy Primary! (sometimes. but don't quote me on that one!)

They are ALL good.  

But what is Best.

At the time the talk was given, it had an impact on me.  But not quite as hard as it did this morning.  One of my all time favorite movies is Phenomenon.  I love that he finds his potential to accomplish so much - but then comes to the point of clarity and discovery of what is most important.  My favorite scene in the movie is when he is working feverishly in his garden, and suddenly stops - and looks at the trees - and breathes.  He slows down, and just moves in motion with the trees.  

So, when am I going to stop, and move with the trees.  When will I listen to the counsel of one of our leaders, and pick just the Best things to spend my precious time on.  

I'm not sure.  Like everyone else that I know, I struggle every day to find that balance.  And like everyone else, I will continue to keep struggling to find that balance.

But this morning,  I didn't post on facebook. 

I took time, and blogged instead. 

And I think that later,  I might make all four of my babies and my hot boyfriend go outside with me and eat dinner on the patio. 

just because.